kiss face between hearts on cellphone

Online dating has exploded in popularity over the last decade. However just because it’s a popular way to meet people doesn’t mean everyone is having success. In fact, among Americans who have used a dating site or app in the past year, more were likely to say the experience left them frustrated (45%) rather than hopeful (28%).

If you’re also frustrated with your dating experience there’s a good chance it’s because:  

  • You’re not getting matches online
  • You’re matching with people but the conversation quickly fizzles
  • You’re not getting many (or any) dates
  • Your dates are turning out to be poor matches
  • You generally hate the process of online dating

The good news is that there are simple things you can do to turn your luck around and start increasing your success. 

For tips you can use today to improve your online dating experience, keep reading. 

1) Get clear on what you’re looking for

It sounds simple, but this often overlooked step can go a long way toward helping you be more effective with your dating game. This is especially true if you’re looking for a long-term relationship. Many people will say they’re looking for a long-term relationship but then will get sucked into profiles made entirely of thirst trap pics. Getting clear on what you’re looking for will help you make better choices when it comes to the people you’re matching with. 

Once you’ve defined what you’re looking for, put it on your dating profile. Research shows that 63% of online daters say it’s very important that the user’s profiles they look through include the type of relationship they’re looking for. This will help you to attract better matches who are on the same page with you in terms of the desired type of relationship and avoid either of you wasting each other’s time. 

2) Optimize your online photos

Let’s face it, in the world of online dating appearances matter. Since you haven’t had the chance to dazzle anyone with your personality yet, you want to be sure you’re putting your best (and authentic) foot forward when it comes to your photos. So don’t simply slap a few pictures on the screen and call it a day. Make sure you’re choosing photos that send the right message about you. 

      • Choose pictures of you: The majority of your pictures should just be of you, not group pictures. Nobody wants to sift through everyone in a group photo to try and figure out which one is you. Also, for men, group photos and especially photos with women can make you look like a player. So keep the group photos to a minimum. 
      • Show activities you enjoy: Instead of talking about the activities you enjoy, show pictures of yourself doing them. Like to travel? Include pictures of yourself in foreign destinations. Enjoy surfing? Add a photo. These types of photos not only go a long way toward showcasing your interests but also give people more options for conversation starters. 
      • Be authentic: Don’t use filters in your photos or overuse professional/posed photos. People want to get a sense for the real you, so choose photos that are real, authentic, and casual. 

3) Include a real description

A lot of people try to be cute or clever in their dating profile description, but it’s not the most effective way to attract good matches. If you’re looking to meet someone you have real compatibility with, be upfront with who you are and what you’re interested in. Also consider what you can include that will make you stand out from the pack. Most people agree that they like brunch, hanging out with friends, hikes and patio drinks, so what can you say in your profile that is unique or different? Not only will this help your personality to shine through more, but it provides a potential conversation starter and can help you attract like-minded matches. 

4) Cast a wide net but be selective

Online dating is often a numbers game, so casting a wide net is crucial to meeting people that you connect with. Don’t get too hung up on little things about a person’s profile you think you might not like. Be liberal when it comes to matching with people and then see who you have a connection with from there. Someone whose profile you were initially on the fence about might turn out to be a great match for you. 

5) Move to the date quickly

In the world of online dating, interest tends to wane quickly. Unfortunately it’s often the result of shiny-object syndrome, where there’s always someone new to focus on or who catches your eye. Because of that, you want to move from the chatting phase to the “meeting” phase quickly so you can keep things progressing with people you’re interested in getting to know. Schedule a phone call within 1-3 days of matching with someone so you can keep things moving and reduce the chances of ghosting.

6) Have a phone call as the first “date”

Often when we go out on a first date, we know within the first five minutes of talking to someone whether or not there’s a connection. And many of us have had the experience of being on a date with someone and knowing right away there’s no chemistry, but we still have to stick it out for the rest of the date. Instead of putting yourself in the situation of wasting another hour or two of your time, suggest a phone date before meeting up in real life. It doesn’t have to be a long phone call, but at the very least you’ll know if you can carry on a conversation with the person or if things seem off. If the phone call is going well, make plans to meet up in person on the call so you can keep things moving forward. 


With a few simple tweaks to your dating profile and process, you’ll increase your matches and be more effective overall in your dating efforts. Looking to further increase your chances of success? Working with a dating coach from Pocket Coach is one of the best ways to improve your luck with dating. You’ll have several check-ins with your coach throughout the week so you can get real-time feedback on situations and obstacles. With the help of your online dating coach, you’ll be able to build confidence, overcome negative thought patterns, and put your best foot forward into the dating world. 

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